I've just cried my eyes out to watching glee, is it werid that i relate so much to rachel, well not the teen marriage and 2 gay dads part, but the rest. I just want it so much, can i be like her, can i be that amazing? Am i that amazing? i am that person people see something special in?? I know i've worked hard, but do i have the talent as well :S i want it so much and i'm not the same person. Its funny, glee started in 2009 when i started my first year at college and its like i've grown and i've grown with her and she has helped me grow, i'm not the same person i was 3 years ago. i'm new, i'm more confident and i'm more determind (i always was but more now, i believe in myself). I just it so much....

    I dream big, but is my dream just that little bit out of reach....

Soooo, its been over a year since i last wrote, but i guess, time just gets away from you.

   Tonight i'm thinking long and hard about everything, it could be a dramatic blog....i can feel it brewing. So something thats playing on my mind right now, my grandad the man i've never met, who sadly passed before i was born. I'm wearing his wedding ring now, it makes me closer to him, to a man i've never met, is that silly?? Can you miss someone you've never met....????

    I just i feel as though i know him, like he is a part of me somehow, i can feel him smile at me and be proud of me. Maybe i'm just being silly, but sometimes i think that i believe in life after death and that he is up there watching me, knowing me and looking after me. But i dont want to say these things out loud in fear of sounding stupid, so instead i shall write them. Grandad, i know you dont know me and you have never met me, but i miss you, i wear your wedding ring when i think of you, i hope your proud of me and charles and mum, mum misses you alot, i wish you were here to see her and nan, to look after them both. But you know, the impact you had on there lives keeps them going. I know you were a great man. I just wanted to say i love you.

    So anyway, something i just needed to say, So anyway moving on.

I got into central school of speech and drama wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
 I'm so excited, me sophie lowe. The girl who let everything get her down, thought she couldnt do anything is doing something amazing. I'm living my dream, i'm heading off to drama school in october, into a big scary world where i dont know everyone, i havent got a safety net, its exciting, scary, amazing and horrifying all at the same time. But its going to be amazing. I have my amazing friend emma up there already she has done her first year, but i will be with her for 2 years. She has her own group of friends and i will hopefully have one of my own, but i know we'll spend time together, then we can throw hannah and liam in to the group and its like the gang are back together again. I love my PA class so much, i wonder what my new friendships will be like :S

    So glee is the best thing in the world i dont think i have ever felt more inspired in my whole life, i guess i should give in and argee with what everyone else says, rachel berry and me are ccleary the same person. But its amazing, we dream big, and we will get big, everyday i get up and dont think i can do anything, i can watch her or listen to her and she makes me think, yes you can do this!!!!

You can do anything!!!!

I havent got anything to moan about, i dont like my job, but i'm only working there for 4 more months, then i'm off to drama school....hello!!!! I have an amazing family, amazing friends and so much to exerience and look forward to....its like anything is possible